Omaha, NE (UPS) Children’s book author Jay Slagle, one of 52nd Street’s most famous citizens, is funny. Really funny. So funny, in fact, that the Omaha Public Library (OPL) has banned his new book, Jack and Noah’s Big Day. The book was published on October 31, 2013, but don’t expect to see it on the shelves of a public library, at least in Omaha.
”We closely evaluate every book submitted to us,” explained Agnes Booksmart, OPL’s spokeswoman, “and Jack and Noah’s Big Day did not fulfill the requirements to be part of our collection.” Pressed further, Ms. Booksmart admitted, “We couldn’t allow it in the library. We had five children read it, and they were howling with laughter much of the time. It would simply be too disruptive.”
“It’s outrageous. Simply the lamest excuse I’ve heard in my two weeks as a civil rights attorney,” exclaimed seven-year-old Greta Taylor, who represents Jay Slagle. “This is like saying that dumb Mona Lisa painting is too boring, zoos have too much animal poop, or I have too many clothes. A children’s book can’t be too funny for the library.”
This reporter was granted an exclusive interview with the seldom-seem author, who is already working on the second book of the “Jack and Noah” series. In contrast to his attorney’s anger, Mr. Slagle was serene, almost as if the library ban was a crafty public relations ploy to sell more books.
“I am surprised,” he started, in his thick German accent, “but then again, I am not surprised. When I emigrated from Dusseldorf, I did not expect this censorship. But I also did not expect to eat a hamburger that had donuts for buns. I also didn’t think I’d get fat. So, you know, I’m not so good at predicting the future. Überhaupt nicht gut (Not good at all)!”
If the author is taking the book ban in stride, his fans are not. A large group of them staged a protest outside the A.V. Sorenson library branch on Saturday morning, braving 16-degree temperatures to show their support for the book. No protesters were willing to make a comment on record, primarily because their lips had frozen shut. There are rumors that dozens of children will soon burn their library cards in protest. Many Dundee-area residents have urged Slagle to begin a hunger strike; he has agreed to so, as long as he can continue to eat.
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An unnamed source within the OPL system has suggested that Jack and Noah’s Big Day has not been banned. Instead, they say that Mr. Slagle has simply been too lazy to fill out the necessary paperwork to be considered by the library. In fact, the source went so far as to suggest that this entire article has been fabricated, and that Agnes Booksmart does not exist.
However, there’s no way the author of a children’s fiction book would make up such a thing.
Jack and Noah’s Big Day by Jay Slagle is available for $9.99 at the Bookworm bookstore in Omaha or on-line at Amazon. Learn more about the book at www.jayslagle.com. Follow his ‘20 Days of Stupid’ project from November 23rd thru December 12th on Twitter (JaySlagleWrites), Instagram (JaySlagleWrites), Facebook (JackAndNoahsBigDay) and his website (www.jayslagle.com).