Omaha, NE (MSNBC) The Nebraska Humane Society’s primary role is to protect animals from physical harm, but yesterday they made it clear they’ll also defend animals from literary harm. The Humane Society (NHS) took the unusual step of issuing a press release today decrying the characterization of basset hounds in Jack and Noah’s Big Day, a children’s book written by Jay Slagle that was published on October 31.
“We believe all animals are special and need to be protected by us,” read the press release from Pam Wiese, NHS spokeswoman, “and we are compelled to speak out against Jay Slagle’s irresponsible portrayal of Stella the basset hound in his recent book. Basset hounds are perfect dogs; they are not lazy, annoying, or continuously eating. They cannot pick a lock. Their ears cannot be used as weapons.”
“While this very entertaining book, available now at The Bookworm and online at Amazon,” continued the press release, “is certain to be the world’s best-selling book in 2014, we do have to object to Slagle’s description of basset hounds. However, if he gives us an autographed copy of the book, we’ll act like this whole press release thing-a-ma-jig didn’t happen.”
When reached for comment, Stella the basset hound stuck to her standard response. “Woof,” she said, “woof, woof.” Jay Slagle was more long-winded when he staunchly defended the accuracy of the book, saying, “Woof, woof, woof woof woof!”
When Slagle was initially defiant (see exclamation point at end of previous sentence), the Humane Society stepped up the pressure and took the unusual step of announcing at noon on Monday that Stella would be removed from the author's home. However, after several hours of tense negotiations between Slagle's attorney (7-year-old Greta) and Humane Society officials, Slagle was allowed to keep the dog as long as he walked her every day. In addition, he signed an agreement that if he writes a follow-up book to Jack and Noah's Big Day, he will describe Stella as "svelte, fast and obedient." Of course, Slagle's fingers were crossed when he signed the agreement, so don't expect him to comply with it.
In Jack and Noah’s Big Day, The Nebraska Humane Society was of one four charities supported by the ‘coolest birthday party ever.’ That whole book is fiction, unfortunately, so the Nebraska Humane Society stills needs donations to support its programs. Go to www.nebraskahumanesociety.org for more information.
P.S. Pam Wiese from the Nebraska Humane Society may be the coolest spokesperson in the United States.
Jack and Noah’s Big Day by Jay Slagle is available for $9.99 at the Bookworm bookstore at 8702 Pacific in Omaha or on-line at Amazon. Learn more about the book at www.jayslagle.com. Follow his ‘20 Days of Stupidity’ project from November 23rd thru December 12th on Twitter (JaySlagleWrites), Instagram (JaySlagleWrites), Facebook (JackAndNoahsBigDay) and his website (www.jayslagle.com). The book is available for reservations at the Omaha Public Library.